The Rules of Love: part 11

بخش پایانیِ قاعده های عشق با عنوان قاعده هایی برای همه ارائه شده است. پس از همسر و فرزند و اقوام و دوستان نکاتی نیز هست که باید در ارتباط و معاشرت با همه رعایت شود:

 

1.      People are more important than things. Obviously we all know that lost and broken objects matter less than lost and broken people.

2.      Guilt is a selfish emotion. In order to love people usefully you need to be focused on them and not on yourself.

3.      Love equals time. When you get pulled in all directions, the only things you can do is prioritize.

4.      The more you put out, the more you get back. The universe doesn’t always give you back love from where you gave it.

5.      Other people are where it’s at. By helping other people you help yourself.

The Rules of Love: part 10

این بخش از قاعده های عشق مربوط به قواعد دوستی است. البته خودِ نویسنده، ریچارد تمپلار، اعتراف می کند که بعضی از این قواعد می تواند در بخش های دیگر این مقوله نیز قرار گیرد. در حقیقت، قاعده هایی هم وجود دارد که در کتاب های دیگر تمپلار مانند قاعده های زندگی با شرحی مشابه استفاده شده است.

 

1.      There are no rules. Your friends are who they are_ you have to take’em or leave’em.

2.      Your best friend was once a stranger. The more friends you have, the more really good friends you’ll have.

3.      Only have people in your life who, on balance, make it better not worse. The great thing about friends is that they’re not compulsory.

4.      If you’re going to be a friend, be a good friend. This is one of the things that sets rules players apart.

5.      Forgive. Recognize that not everyone is perfect.

6.      Never give advice. Your friend knows their own mind and their own life better than you do.

7.      Don’t make other people uncomfortable. When I was young, we were always told firmly never to ask personal questions.

8.      Find friends who love the truth. If you want to be a wonderful scarlet poppy, you have to find a poppyfield to thrive in.

9.      Never lend money unless you’re prepared to write it off. A really good friendship is worth more than you’re lending, so you’d be crazy to throw the friendship away.

10.   If you don’t like their spouse, tough. It may turn out that you were wrong_ it can happen you know.

11.   When one finger points forwards, three point back. Of course it wasn’t your fault, so that was different. Or was it?

12.   Friendships change. There’s no reason to feel guilty or resentful towards your friends when life takes you in different directions.

13.   Know when to let go. Don’t waste your time or your energy on a friendship that’s over.

14.   Bitterness helps no one. Some friendships are made to last and others you only need for a while.

 

ادامه دارد

The Rules of Love: part 9

قاعده های عشق در این بخش قاعده هایی است که در خانواده باید مراعات شود:

 

1.      Don’t blame your parents. How can anyone be expected not to put a foot wrong in 18 years/

2.      Don’t let your parents control your feelings. You’re programmed to assume your parents are right about everything.

3.      Your children come before you. I know being a parent is exhausting, but that’s the nature of the job.

4.      Nothing is worth falling out over. If you want your family to be there for you, you’ve got to be there for them.

5.      Treat them right, no matter how they treat you. Behave exactly as if these people were your friends and not your family.

6.      There are no circumstances in which it is ever acceptable to say ‘I told you so’. If you voice the words ‘I told you so’, you have relinquished the moral high ground.

7.      Don’t pressurize your family just because you can. It’s not fair that you make a fuss just because you can.

8.      Never be too busy for loved ones. Sometimes of course it can mean putting yourself out.

9.      Your children need to fall out with you to leave home. You might as well give in and let them have a decent argument with you.

10.   They don’t have to be the same as you. Stop assuming they’ll want what you want.

11.   There’s always stuff with siblings. That child who you used to squabble with, or envy, or wind up all those years ago has long gone.

12.   Let go of your role. The role is so natural you slip into it without thinking.

 

ادامه دارد